Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
