I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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