dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
