His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
