hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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