After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
