I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize