you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
