Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
