how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
