if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
