i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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