oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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