You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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