Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
