Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize