Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
