i used baking grease as lip gloss
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
