Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
