first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
