This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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