Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
