I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize