I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
