I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
