She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
