I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
