you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
