between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't put those talents on a resume
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
