I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do vagina's smell?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
