I wish my penis had an off switch
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
