U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
