No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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