I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
