this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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