Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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