I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
