Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
