Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
