i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
