I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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