so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
