he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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