so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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