I'm going to jail i love you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
