Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
