Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
