I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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