I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
