I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize