To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
