Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
