Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize