I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
