its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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