I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
