He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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