I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
