hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
