I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
