your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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