Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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