If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My Sexting was not on an AP level
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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