dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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