I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
