hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
