I can tuck mytits in my pants
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize