it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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